Apparently I’m a (GASP!)…bigot!

The Big Yummy Apple

I wrote to Word-man first,  very shortly after I opened my profile.  He has a nerdy-attractive “look” in his pictures which is appealing to me. He mentioned word games on his page; I wrote him about my love for those kind of games, moving to his area, and thus, needing an adequate opponent.  We’ve been playing them online together ever since!  It’s terrific!  I’ve beat him 3 out of 4 games so far, but he does pose a terrific  challenge and it’s fun. 

After a few brief discussions via Internet games chat, he finally proposes we talk to explore if we’ve any other things in common.  I’m delighted!  I was just grateful to have a worthy and willing game opponent and after 4 games, I’d resigned to myself that he wasn’t interested in me in any kind of personal way.  This was a bummer being that I found him attractive and intellectually interesting as well, but again, I was enjoying our games.  Now, I was very much looking forward to talking with him!

This might be one of those shameful confessions here.  Not shameful like some of the incredibly fun and exciting sinful shenanigans I read from a few fabulous fellow bloggers here…no, nothing so juicy as that unfortunately. 

However, it seems I was being less than honest with myself when I wrote of my fairly limitless acceptance and minimal “dealbreakers”.  I apparently have another overly stringent one as well…  New York accents!

I don’t like this!!  New York fascinates me in concept!  I love its oh-so-ample theatre and plethora of cultures; its historical value is fascinating; positively adored hiking the Catskills and upstate in general; and I still think Seinfeld was one of the funniest shows ever! In fact, I’m certain I could go on and on ad nauseum about the many and wondrous redeeming qualities of New York in general and feel heartfelt appreciation for it all.  Hell, I could probably jump up this moment and give a painfully sincere, rendition of the Broadway song, New York, New York :

These vagabond shoooooooooooooooes…Are longing to strayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy… Right through the verrrrry heart of it… New York, New York….!

…If I can MAAAAAAAKE it there, I’ll make it AAAANNNNY where… It’s up to YOU… Newww York, Neeewwwwwww Yorrrrrrrrrrk!!

I won’t deny how excruciatingly painful that would be, were I to actually do it, but the point is, I’ve had a mad love affair with the theatre since I was a very young child and have been singing that very song since I was approximately the age of 3. So, I can do it…and I assure you with more heart and feeling than you can imagine.

Additionally to all of this ridiculous nonsense, I immensely enjoy language and all that encompasses, including various accents.  So, why do I find the NY accent so aesthetically unappealing and obnoxious?  And not only that, but all the way to the point of being instantly turned off at hearing it?  This is so ridiculous to even address with myself, but after my talk with Word-Man, I can’t remain in denial of my excessive and innate (?) discrimination!  The guy has been in Vegas for 14 years, so it’s not even a very acute accent…but it’s there…

And I just can’t take it… neither my own bizarrely disproportionate  intolerance of it(its literally akin to nails down a chalkboard for me – and no that’s not an exaggeration)… nor the accent itself!  Perhaps what adds mass weight to my overbearing annoyance stems more from having to face some ridiculously limiting quirk of mine which I simply can’t explain?  I truly find it intolerable…  And my very intolerance of it is even more intolerable than that!

I don’t judge people on their race, their education, their family tree, their hair color, their interests or hobbies, their culture, their past – none of it!  I EVEN grew up speaking with an obnoxious southern-like accent mahh-self, which I wasn’t even aware of until I moved during high school and was teased and criticized mercilessly for it.  I consequently, and much  to my  Mam-maw’s “You sound like a Damn Yankee!” dismay, worked hard to overcome that manner of speaking and I still get mildly self-conscious when on very rare occasions, a word or two of mine slips out with a noticeable hill-billy twang.  How could anything as ridiculous as an accent bother me to this extreme degree?  This is unacceptable discrimination!

Yet there it was, undeniably blazing in all its glory during my phone conversation with Word-Man.  After only a few minutes when I had noticed it enough to ask about it, I wanted to just end the conversation!  I’m not kidding – I wanted to.  Ugh!  I struggled to turn down this mild accent enough to even hear much of what he was saying!  To make things worse, he talked a lot…and the more he talked, the louder his accent seemed and the harder I had to work just to hear his words. 

This is not only unacceptable and deeply embarrassing, it’s just plain wrong.

 Overall the conversation (what I could hear of it anyway) went fairly well and we’re planning on meeting Thursday or Friday in person.  Can I do it?

Immediate update:  I think I’ve figured this anomaly out!  My aversion to this accent was created by Twizzler Man years ago…ahhh Twizzler man….tsk..tsk..tsk…you traumatized me to this horrifying extent.  Shame on you!