Tag Archives: Hmmmmm…?

Freaks and favorites

So Mr. Favorite-So-Far finally bumped into a doubt…  After much delightful texting throughout the day yesterday, we spoke on the phone for awhile.  This was our 3rd or 4th actual phone conversation.  It went well.  I truly enjoy this man’s personality and perspective on various things!  Yayyyy Mr. Favorite!

too much thinking..not enough...?A few hours after our conversation, the texting continues….  And here is where the first “issue” occurred.    He asks me if I have any pictures to send from my phone.  I find this curious, as the guy has seen four photos from my profile on the dating site and has also been added as a FB friend, where he has access to so many pictures, in fact far more than I’d like to share with a potential date, as I’ve not sorted through those and picked only my favorites to share.  There’s the not-so-flattering pictures, the OMG I’m an unbelievable dork pictures, and the plain “Whoaa..is that even ME?!” pictures… ALL right there available to him at his leisure to stroll through, admire, criticize, laugh, whatever…

So, the request for a photo from my phone…  And this IS his 2nd request for this, but the first was the reason I added him to my FB…a lack of pictures on my phone to send him, although I did send the very few I had after his first request. So, I, in my over -analytical, tryin-to-be-more-suspicious-and-less-trusting place, grow “curiouser and curiouser” ! Just what is  he looking for here?

My initial thought is that he’s terribly concerned as to whether I’m attractive or not, in spite of all the photos he’s already seen.  My pictures aren’t old or fuzzy or far away, so maybe his opinion of my looks is on the fence and he just can’t decide if he does or does not consider me attractive?  2nd thought:  After several stories of online dating and texting pictures horrors I’ve heard recently, I start to wonder if he’s subtly trying to see if I’ll send some private-type pictures?  He doesn’t seem that type really, but how does one ever really know, for sure right?  Seriously, after hearing about finish on your face guy (refer to “Swimming without trunks”), I’m prepared to tuck aside my usual naïveté and face the possibility of all kinds of WTF…

So, thinking these two possibilities, I jokingly mention that I’m less than attractive and a bit on the chubby side.   He’s already seen my pictures so I can say whatever…  And it IS all in the eye of the beholder.  He just says, “Ahh, you’re not cute and you’re chubby???!  Awesome!”  Conversation is dwindling and I’m still trying to figure what this is about in a desire to be pro-active against any freaks, at least any freaks who wouldn’t be compatible with my specific-freakish nature and/or comfort levels.  So I say, maybe I’m a little boring and you were hoping for something a bit racier?  If so, sorry to disappoint, but I try to keep the conversation on safe topics until I get to know someone better.

And he responds:  “No I was driving so they were short texts.  No disappointment. Quit trying to read me through texts.  Bad idea.”

Whoaaaaaaaaaaa….. that SMACKED!  I’m positive my face turned beet red while I read this… Umm…..GOSH…… 

I reply:  “Sorry napoleon (reference to earlier joke…and my meager attempt to lighten this back up). I was kinda teasing you… but point well taken.”

Yeah, I was busted.  I know trying to “read into” anything a guy  says or does is nearly always a very bad idea.  I’ve learned that first hand all on my own from past dating experiences and relationships.  And yes, I admit I was guilty of that….but really,  I was more like fishing around to try to figure out why he needed/wanted  more pictures…

Okay, yes…and trying to weed out the possibility that he was some kind of freak expecting naked pictures or something.  Something I’m uncomfortable with and totally unprepared to do.

Was I out of line here?  I sure felt stupid at getting called out on my amateur psycho-analysis of the deeper meaning behind his seemingly odd request.  It’s tough to try to be “smart” about seeing possible red flags, while simultaneously trying to stay open and give someone the benefit of the doubt.   Overall, I’m a fairly trusting and somewhat naïve girl by nature and that’s really not a super safe nature to have within the realm of dating even, much less online dating!

Anyway, all is well with Mr. Favorite.  That was that and now we’ve moved on to right back where we were with light, fun, and not-analyzed texts.