Tag Archives: spontaneous poetry

M is for irresistable attraction…

I like M.  I do.  I stayed the night at his house last night.  Yes, it’s everything you think…I won’t hide that, deny it, or pretend to be even appropriately ashamed…  I’m just not.

I wanted him.  Yeah, umm…. A lot.  In kinda that strange way where it’s fun to be “there”, wanting something merely because it feels good to actually want for a minute…but then you don’t really want to hang out in that place of desire too very long…because… well because you want it.    And as absolutely delicious as it feels to want something/someone…the temptation to have it starts to take over and it becomes a force of nature all its own, almost a tangible thing you can taste and feel, with its own personality and characteristics unto itself; as if that makes any sense to anyone on earth except me…hehe…

It’s a strange thing, really; he’s not much my “type”, is slightly older than I’m accustomed to, and then there’s this “other” thing…  this indefinable strangeness that I…well I….umm..I don’t know…I can’t define it because it’s indefinable.  Yeah, that’s it. 

I’m not doing any of this experiment to find a husband or even settle down into a relationship.  That takes the negative edge away from the whole experience and process and I’m enjoying that.  It’s  akin to a timeless visit to an extravagantly delicious buffet when I’m not ravenously hungry, but just a wee bit and thus, far more interested in exploring the food itself than the actual consumption of it. It’s just fun!

…and  I‘m slowly realizing to my utter astonishment that my attraction to M is not only unquestionably potent, but baffling and peculiar as well.  What is it?

Here’s an attempt to sum up M’s qualities (both the positive and the not-so-much) : 

He is bald by choice. I’ve never dated a bald guy before and quite frankly, have never met one I wanted to date, in spite of knowing a few handsome baldies in my time (I do have a little “thing” for the biker/Harley types…but have never acted upon that…it’s always been a mild attraction at most.)

 Seems fairly successful.  I haven’t really quizzed or questioned him much about his work, but I listen closely to the bits that come out naturally and get the distinct impression that he is quite possibly far more successful career-wise than one might think given his laid-back personality.

Not at all pretentious or extravagant. This is tied in with the success thing above.  He lives in a very beautiful home in a terrific neighborhood with minimal, but truly tasteful, furnishings and accessories.

On the average to thin side.   He is fit, but doesn’t appear to work too hard on being that way.  I’m typically (certainly not always) attracted to huskier body types, bordering on over-weight even…  Yeah, I know.  That’s a little odd…I don’t know why this is…it just is.

 Communicates well and is either a good listener or at least effectively pretends to be.   We are never at a loss for conversation and openly discuss a variety of topics…which can get into the personal zone, but never “prying”.  I enjoy hearing him talk and I appreciate that he listens and asks questions of me as well.

 Manly, but not macho.  I get a very strong, almost heady (a scrumptious sense like a subtle scent which you just want to breathe in deeply), feel of manliness about him…but zero degree of macho-man/me: Tarzan, you: Jane sexist or possessive crap.

Attentive:  Feels like I have his absolute attention when I’m with him and his attentiveness when we text or talk on the phone, but I get zero sense of any kind of desperation or clinginess.  He never overdoes it and does a fabulous job of effectively maintaining a delightful balance on this one. I almost (but not quite) crave more of his attention, but I like randomly having that feeling and think the amount of attention he gives is thus, perfect for me. Not too much to turn me off or scare me away, but not so little that I feel unappreciated or unwanted at all, neither when  in his presence or away from him.  He leaves me wanting more… yet very satisfied with what is already there.

Well mannered but oh so laid back:  M has immaculate manners and demonstrates a slight degree of “chivalry” (offers his hand to help me up from sitting, touches me in affectionate, gentlemanly, respectful ways) yet clearly appreciates my strength and independence.  It’s never over bearing.  Never a sense of feeling I have to be boringly lady-like!

Honest and open, but still mysterious:  I don’t get the sense that he’s hedging or avoiding or even mildly hiding anything about himself, his past,  or his life in general and yet…. Dammit, the minute I leave him, I get all sorts of strange feelings about what the hell he might be doing in his personal time.  NO…not in a jealous/WTF is he DOING way, but more like:  I can distinctly sense something under the surface of this man…lurking around in the hidden recesses of his life or his personality.  It’s totally absent when I’m actually with him; everything seems so very open, clear, honest, comfortable, etc; like I could ask anything and he’d gladly tell me… but….

I don’t know.  Maybe this is just his strong silent type nature that leads me to this strange contradiction?  I just can’t put my finger on this part.  It’s an intriguing puzzle, but frustrating in its intangibility…like the “it’s on the tip of my tongue” thing.  That’s such a cool experience in itself when it happens, but then you very much need to figure out what’s in there hiding…or it’s just frustrating…  That may be a poor way to describe this, but truly, I’m without an explanation or an effective description.

It’s intriguing and fun to say the least…an entirely new and unique realm of experience within an experience.

I’ve never been “here” before…  I wonder how it will go…

More cheese…PLEASE?!!

Texting for the past few weeks with my most favorite guy so far from the site.  Haven’t met him in person yet though, so I just don’t know….  However, this guy’s pictures are adorable.  I was originally struck by his likeness to the actor who played Alicia Silverstone’s step-brother in Clueless…

Oh please, please, PLEASE...more cheese?!!

whom I’ve had a little crush on ever since I first saw that movie.  He’s only a year younger than I(bonus!), has a good job,  and his texts really make me laugh.  Here’s a play-by-play of the most recent one from this morning.  (My personal remarks which were NOT texted are in italics):

M: Good morning. So ru seeing someone now?

K:I’ve been on a few 1st dates from the site, but no I’m not.  Why?  What made u think that?  Ru seeing someone now?  I hope not!!  (yeah, I ventured out a little bit with this one!  Not sure if that was too “telling”?)

M: Nope nobody haven’t even met anyone (Phew…thank Gawd…because he hasn’t even met me either!!  This is really good to hear!)

K:  Ahhh good (4 ME @least!  Hehe:)) I’m mostly on there trying to make friends  in this area (yes, this is true) but I really do like what I know so far about u and ur personality (GAWWDD…look at me just hang myself out there….wtf is wrong with me??!!  Thank God my texts make it impossible to put the little “Do you like me?  Yes or No boxes!!)

M: Really huh?  LOL

K: Yes.  Was that a bad thing to admit?  I never claimed to be good @ the whole playin-it-cool-dating thing…lol

M: No its not a bad thing 2admit

K: Ok:)   What’s up w/ u 2day? How’d u sleep? How’s ur pinky toe? What color r ur socks? Why’d u think I was seeing some1 anyway? Was it my FB? Yes, this IS an informal investigation BTW…

M: Class. Good.  Neglected.  White.  Hunch. Yes.

(A period of time elapses here  after this one…I didn’t respond.)

M: Sooo tired and bored

K: Hmmm…wanna play tic-tac-pinky-toe? Haha..j/k…hey, u could always write that inspirational poem about cheese I’ve been begging u for…

M: I wanna play something

K:  Hmmm…no poem then I take it?   Well, FINE:(  Wanna play Scrabble w/me on FB then?

M: Oh cheesy cheese….how I love thee like my knees…Good on salads and chili dogs too…from blue, cheddar, and even fomunda I’m told…Cheese oh cheesy cheese…please never go away oh pretty please…

K  (LOL-ing literally): O my stars!!!! Now I just adore u!! shhhhh don’t tell any1 tho!  That. Was. Unbelievably. Awesome.  !! U sooo rock!

M: I know lol I’m a true poet

K:  u R!!  what ru trying 2do 2me here?!  Better  keep those skillz on the DL pal..Girls dig guys w/skillz u know…

M:  yeah I have computer hacking skills, numchuck skills…

I know this is all incredibly CHEESY (what can I say??  I’m a TOTAL nerd on the inside.  No, really, I am!)….hahah..no “cheese” pun intended..but  this is like the FIFTH  time this guy has caught me off guard and  surprised me by sending  a text which made me laugh so hard that some sort of beverage came ungracefully spewing from my nose.    I am a sucker for a man who can make me laugh…and particularly so when it seems to require such little effort on his part.

Hmm….I probably was a little too “forth right” here in implying directly to him that he is my favorite, but I really don’t play the dating game well (at all, really…) and my STARS…if this guy turns out to be attractive as well….  Uhhhh…ohhhhh… Spaghetti-O’s….

Yup…this one is my absolute favorite by FAR so far….   Wonder if we’ll ever actually meet?  …Wonder if he’s as cute in person?  Ahhhh..who cares…I’m SO smiling right now:-)