So, things are going fairly well with the Twin. I’m certainly not madly in love or anything, but I like him. I’m learning there are some interesting issues when dating an identical twin. I’m feeling fortunate that although he and his brother are definitely identical, they are easy to tell apart at this point in their lives, although it’s easy to see that this wasn’t always the case, as they ARE absolutely identical. Twin brother has bad teeth and a moustache honoring the 70’s porn era.
My guy does NOT have these lovely identifying assets…or you bet your ass he would not be my guy at all!! Umm…yukkkk!!!
Thus, they actually are quite different for all their crazy doppelganger-ness! Twin apparently has some serious drug and alcohol issues. It’s sad to see, but it’s heartwarming to see my guy’s utter devotion to his twin. And it is definitively utter devotion! Yeah, I’ve several whacked out stories to tell about that, but said events might require a post all their own…
This post is of a different, more personal nature. It’s also somewhat embarrassing and delicate… And of course, these things generate a great deal of reflection on a plethora of thoughts and opinions!
My twin is great: he is thoughtful, not too smothering, funny at times, has it mostly together with a bit of the unwanted drama included, but that’s mostly tolerable even. Suffice to say, he’s a pretty great guy overall. However… Ummm…how do I put this respectfully and without as much insult as it’s going to imply…. Hmm…..umm…..well…..ok…..ummmm…no way to put it other than just throw it out there, I guess…. It’s just that…he…yeah…he..ummmm…
SUCKS IN BED!
Ahhhhh…what a relief! I’ve said it. I got it out!
And, I’m not positive it’s that he really just sucks. I mean, he was capable of seducing me and creating the desire to actually have sex with him the first time we did. That’s not an easy task for most guys in my life, I confess. And, that was fun…until we actually did..and then it was rather disappointing, but I just told myself it was early and just the beginning of that aspect of our relationship. He had plenty of other great qualities to keep me interested in continuing for a while longer to see how it might go.
I also can’t help but wonder if it’s me? The bottom line is my ex boyfriend was hands down THE most phenomenal lover EVER. I mean, that guy had the art of seduction down to a freakin’ science. I could have a blistering migraine, be on my period, not slept in days, be starving, have the freakin’ knock you on your ass flu, and STILL…he could make me want him. It was honest to God, THAT amazing!! The clincher to it was in three years of dating, it never got lax or dull either. Not a bit! The only possible downfall to how superb sex with my ex was, was that it was a challenge to have a quickie. You know, when you have 15 minutes to get to work and your man runs his hand across your ass…soooo deliciously that you want him more than you even care about your damned job…all you know is you. Must. Have. Him. NOW. But you can’t ration yourself to under 15 minutes because 5 minutes makes you want 10 more and 15 minutes makes you want 30 more and so on and so forth.
Yeah, I thought I’d had some pretty amazing sex in my day…until THIS guy…and I realized every previous “amazing” sexual experience I’d ever had before was mediocre at best. Hmm… Words just fall short to describe. Yeah, I could write a lengthy post on the topic of sex with my ex alone. After I first had sex with him, I actually felt deeply sorry for all the women in this world who would go their entire life and not know this level of sexual amazement. No kidding, I felt literally guilty that I got to have sex with him and so many females were going to miss out on it. Weird maybe, but absolute fact. Sex with my ex created a level of soul-joy that I wanted the whole world to know at least once in their lives!!
So, I know from experience that not every guy/sexual experience is going to be to that level of absolute unbelievable ecstasy…and I know the majority simply just aren’t going to ever get anywhere near that kind of skill. I mean, thank God in heaven my ex wasn’t my first or I’d really have been ruined for life from ever being able to appreciate sex at the average or even above average level!
So, I’m perfectly willing to admit that my opinion of sex with the Twin may sadly be extremely biased. But what do I do with that? How do I unlearn the ex and go back to my previous standards? How in the freakin’ HELL does one do that?! Ahhhh….fuck! Is that even possible??!?
If I try really hard to give Twin a fair rating, he still falls well below average and that makes sex with him, from my perspective at least, HORRIBLE!!
At least, I think that’s a “fair” rating? Hell, I may not be capable of being totally fair after Superstar Lover, but I really think Twin is well below average in the sexual prowess department. Ughhh.
Twin is probably slightly above average size-wise, so that’s not the issue at all. He’s just fast and simple. Oh so simple… There’s no crazy OH MY GOD passion or desire for me. It’s more of an, ok, I guess we haven’t done it in a while, so alright , let’s do it and get it over with while I manufacture more excuses not to for the next week or so. BAD, huh? I feel terribly that I do this. I’ve never been that girl before; thinking up excuses to avoid sex. I’ve always enjoyed sex…even before my ex. I really liked sex…. And now I don’t know any more if it’s really just my issue because sex is SO not typically like it was with my ex…OR if it’s just that my tolerance level for humdrum average sex is non-existent now OR if sex with Twin just truly sucks that bad.
Well, this is really my first attempt at having an actual relationship with anyone since my ex and I split five years ago, which unfortunately also means it’s the first time I’ve attempted an on-going sexual relationship with anyone since the ex either. And damn, it’s so disappointing! But he IS a super great guy otherwise… I love being with him, well, other than that part…
I just don’t know about long term with Twin. Or hell, ANY one for that matter!