EUREKA?!

Haven’t been on any dates lately, so I’ve not much on that to update….  Have had several lovely offers, but just not feeling it really…

However, I made an interesting discovery today which is both perplexing and somewhat comical to me…we all know how strange my sense of humor is though…hehe 🙂

ahhh geesh...did my kids throw their garbage on the ground?

Cleaning outside around our pool area this morning, I came across this tiny little shiny gold thing…really shiny…like..well, like sparkly gold!  No one has been out there hanging out in weeks so I’m curious of course.  I pick it up…..  Couldn’t really figure out what it was at first….I’m thinking, a candy wrapper from the kids or something…?

No.  that’s not it.  It has a tiny section of writing on it…but I can only make out one full letter…umm….it’s an“M” in black….umm…????  WHAT???  I’m pretty sure it’s…it’s…noooooooo…it’s not possible….ummm…it’s…nooooooo…

WTF??

And I’m aghast!  Truly, ummm….this isn’t possible.  There’s no way….I must be mistaken, after all it has been awhile…

It’s a small corner section of a condom wrapper!!  WTF??!  That can’t be!  No one’s been out there “getting busy” since I moved here three months ago.  And I mean no one!  In addition, it can’t have been out there for very long (before we moved in?) either because I’m out there by myself at least once a day for a few moments and I’m certain I’d have noticed something so shiny and bright that it looked like jewelry if it had been there for any length of time…

Could it have blown from a neighbors’ garbage out on the street…over and above the cement walls dividing our back yards….  Ummm….that seems highly unlikely, bordering on impossible.  So…what in the hell is this…?

You have GOT to be kiddin me...

Umm….seriously, WTF?  So of course I ponder further…. Hmmmmm…. Other than swimming with the Lingerer (months ago), no man has even been out there at all….and NO man since I moved here has been out there in a situation to need a condom!

Wait…

Mr. Nurse was out there checking on how to get my hot tub going since I haven’t used it yet…umm…..  But…I wasn’t even out there with him.  We weren’t making-out out there at all…Ummm……….

OMGOMGOMG!!!! Is it possible that Nurse-man was so certain he was going to get “lucky” that he put on a condom in advance?????

That’s a disturbing thought…truly…extremely disturbing!  However, it does explain my weird “feelings” when Nurse-guy was here….OMG!!!

Ughhh…you have got to be kidding me!!!  And don’t you even think that the irony of the “M” is at all lost on me…hahahahahah…life really does have quite the sense of humor, doesn’t it?

10 responses to “EUREKA?!

  1. hahahahahahahahah! *snort* hahahahahahah! Okay, I’m done. But really, it probably did just blow in from someone’s trash. I doubt Mr. Nurse was THAT creepy, that’s just weird! Could it have been in a bush or somewhere you couldn’t have seen it and wind or an animal knocked it loose? Or maybe a bird brought it in or dropped it taking stuff to make a nest somewhere. If it happens again, then I’d be very curious and setting up camera’s on my backyard, but until then, I’d just think it’s one of those weird coincidences.

  2. It’s really hard to imagine it blew in from a neighbor’s trash bc of the high cement/brick walls surrounding my entire back yard…..but I’d really prefer to believe that it did as opposed to the alternative of Mr. Nurse being WAY “proactive” and “prepared” for anything! umm…ewwww… Was thinking it’s a good thing I’m not married anymore or SOMEONE would have some splainin’ to do…and it wouldn’t even be his fault…hahahahahhaha…bc I’d *never* buy this possibility otherwise. Geesh girl…seriously what are the odds of this?! It’s wild!! Condom wrappers in my backyard and no one’s even getting busy around here….ROTFLMAO…the universe is SO makin’ fun of me..or something! 😉

  3. Ummm… how do you put on a condom in “advance”? Do you drop trou, slip it on, then pull your pants back up? That can only be… uncomfortable.

  4. I can only imagine Dennis that it would be horribly uncomfortable!! I have it on first hand knowledge though from an experience during “college craziness” that it *is* indeed possible and it’s done by some as well… If that’s the case here though, I gotta say these guys who do this are 0 for 2 with me… I do appreciate the value of being proactive, but the presumption in itself is an insult to me and doesn’t get anyone too far… Kinda makes me feel sorry for th…umm…wait…that’s not true. It doesn’t. At all. 😉

    • Okay, I guess. But I still don’t see what the point is. It takes 10 seconds to put on a condom. Do you REALLY need to save those 10 seconds on put it on beforehand?

      Besides, what if she wants to… ummm, do other stuff with you first? Isn’t that just gonna taste bad? 😉

  5. It’s probably your neighbours or some punk kids up to no good and it floating over in the wind. It would be hilarious if a guy put a condom on in advance, I would probably start laughing at his face.

  6. Hahaha this is just too funny for 8 in the morning! Thanks for the great start to my day 🙂

  7. You OK hun? Miss ya!!

  8. Where are you???

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