Cupid, please protect me from the bodily fluids?

Followed my blogger friend’s advice  (Vendetta ) and finally ventured out of the pond and into Cupid’s area of target.

I create my profile throw a few pictures on there.  I didn’t really put much effort into this…perhaps my gusto is dwindling?  …but I did it…yayy! 

At first, I was worried that it would merely be exactly the same as the pond I was already in since it is free as well  and I was pleasantly surprised to find it is a bit different.  It seems to do more specific compatibility matching.  I browsed around a bit.  Found one guy who’s face drew my interest, so I read his profle..and I was pleasantly surprised.  Had a little intelligence, far exceeds my height requirement, demonstrated some possible insightfulness, and a bit of a sense of humor too! Hmm….  Nice.  I wrote him.  I rarely write anyone first, but just had to at least tell this guy I admired his profile.  We’ve been writing/texting/chatting ever since and since he works third shift as a nurse, we have planned to meet Thursday afternoon at a popular bookstore for coffee and book browsing.  Can’t believe I’m almost excited about this.  No seriously, I just about am…until flashes of Zep, M, Lingerer, and Mr. PhD come flooding at me and prohibit my ability to actually get *there*..to actually be enthusiastic.  Yeah, it’s clear my optimism has diminished significantly, but HEY, at least I’m still going and trying!

From only a few days, I’ve seen a few differences between the sites.  I haven’t documented these of course, but what I’ve noticed as a general trend in my short time

Starting to feel a little like this gal...just around the edges though!

Seems the Cupid pairs me with younger men far more often than the aquarium.  Or is there merely a larger crowd of the younger ones over at the cupid?  Don’t know, but I’d guesstimate that my “matches are generally in their late 20’s and early 30’s.  not sure how I feel about this as in “matches”, but if I find the match attractive, I at least go peek for some reading material.  I’ve seen a few quality photos with quality profiles…read all the way to the end and then get my feelings hurt!  I’m too “old” for their requirements…OMG…  No, not every single one, but geesh…enough that it’s starting to make me feel olllllllllddddd.  Like being single with two children, having no friends, and speeding toward 40 isn’t enough to make me feel like I’m ancient already, Mr.Cupid has to have a sick sense of humor to continually “match” me with guys whose age qualifications I exceed.  Thank you Mr. Cupid you sick, twisted son-of-a…

I swear, this isn't me at ALL...yet...

This should be against the online dating law, I tell ya.  It’s cruelty to we getting-old people and particularly for we getting-too-old-and-irritated-at-dating-in-general-people!!  The first few didn’t really bother me so much, I’m like, ahh well…no big deal.  Then after a few more, I’m like umm…what the hell is this, then after a few more still,  I’m like okay, this is starting to hurt my feelings.  Geesh, I’m not THAT old for crying out loud.  I firmly believe this should and could be tactfully avoided by the I’m-sure-above-average-intelligence-Cupid-engineers/creators…those sick mean bastards! I mean with all this ‘”matching” they’re doing, how easy is to be eliminated from my matches if I don’t meet the criteria?  Should I even be their “match”?  I don’t think so.  Gosh, I’m just at that age where I’m still young enough to be in denial of my growing older status, but old enough to mostly only want to date appropriately aged men.  What am I going to do?  Write a bunch of me saying, hey I’m a little older than you are seeking, but dammit I’m still hot?!  My age-pride is still enough in tact that I refuse to approach in writing or otherwise any man who prefers a woman even one year younger than I.  But I’m old enough to be thinking, dammit, I must be really getting OLD…ughh!

Another interesting point I’ve noticed on both sites is that in general, my “matches” tend to be less attractive.  What are those odds and how are they arrived at?  Is this perhaps because I focus less on talking about the importance of looks in my profile?  Sure, looks are far from most important to me,  but gosh they don’t have to throw me all the one’s who look like they’ve been ridden hard and put away wet either!  Intelligence and personality are mandatory traits, but personality has got to be difficult to determine via these, doesn’t it?  I like that cupid throws in some IQ-like questions in their ongoing “questionnaire” to find “better match”.

My list of criteria:  1, Intelligence/personality (these are closely tied for #1), 2. Sense of Humor, 3.  Strong moral character 4. Height (neither site allows this as a mandatory prerequisite for matches though).

It’s promising already that I’ve had a higher number of “tall” responses and interests at Cupid by far.  Is cupid the site of taller, but younger (and often seeking even younger) singles?  That might be a contradiction for me…

Another question….should I change my “interests” to “everyone” since more than anything I hope to meet friends?  I browsed like this for a few minutes yesterday and came across some really strange profiles in the “everyone” category.  Can a guy with the screen name “pisscumlover” really become a dear friend to me?  Could we cultivate a lovely go-to-lunch-and-have-wine-n-movies-nights friendship together Mr Pisscumlover and I? Gosh, Maybe Mr. Pisscumlover really wants to make friends too?  I don’t care what the personal dating interests of my potential friends are.  Really, I don’t, but am concerned as to what message I’m sending out f I bravely list that I’m “seeking friends, short-term dates, and/or long-term dates” from the broad category of “everyone”? 

Does that scream desperation to you? Or am I just being paranoid again? I mean I am slightly desperate to make friends,but not at all desperate in the dating category.  If I clarify that with my written words, will any “freakish” types even read my words? Or is it more likely that they’ll sum me up without reading as dating/sexually desperate/WIDE OPEN to all?  And what if Mr. Pisscumlover might potentially be my next BFF?  Am I too quick to judge? 

Another thought, should I have two sites on there maybe?  One for looking just for “friends” from “everyone” and another for “looking for short/long-term dating from just “guys who like girls”?  Might that solve this dilemma of categorizing my separate “needs”?  …Or to the person who maybe finds me in both pages, do I (again) just appear wide open and desperate to all potential scenarios and possibilities?

Hmmm…..I dunno….

I whine, I rant…yes, but the truth is I’ve already crossed paths with more than a few interesting new potentials…  So, I’m having a blast with this right now!  I just have to tone down or resolve that aspect of cupid encouraging my feeling and fears of getting/being OLD…that’s just ughhh….ughhh…ughhhhh

hey, a girl can dream, right?!

….and now off to meet Mr. Nurse for coffee….

13 responses to “Cupid, please protect me from the bodily fluids?

  1. I have an aquarium account. I hate that site. I am a firm believer in Cupid.

  2. I was about to reply suggesting having one profile seeking friends and one seeking dates but you’re already ahead of me! I don’t think many people would end up reading both, and even if they did I don’t think it seems desperate. Nothing wrong with wanting to meet some of each!

  3. Sure girl, you want friends, make one that is open to men and women and says only friends. Then make one that only accepts men for dating. I say why not! That site is fun, at least the quizzes are. I do find that some of the profiles are a little too well thought out, a little too much information, and a little too “I’m so cool and funny look at me, wait, you aren’t cool enough” or “I’m so indie and you are so not”. I think it does tend to have a younger crowd. But you can specify your acceptable age group too, that will limit your matches. If I was going to go back to online dating, I would use it again. I’ve thought about reactivating my profile as a just looking for friends kind of thing, nothing more. See what happens.

  4. I am not too fond of the aquarium, either. I tried Cupid once, and found a nice man off of there I am still friends with. Maybe I should try that one again…

  5. Well, I was inspired, to go back to cupid, and make my profile a “friends” profile. Of course about 10 guys immediately popped up wanting to date me. Clearly they didn’t read a word I said about NOT wanting to date or have a boyfriend right now. But a few did.

    • hahahahh…this sorta flows right into j’s comment below… GAWD, it never occurred to me that ppl might read looking for “friends” as looking for casual sex partners!.. ughh…starting to think there’s just no way around all the b.s…everyone has an agenda…I’m now becoming a fan of sleazy single’s bars, at least there you know who you’re really talking to …or at least what they really look like….;-)

  6. a lot of times, too… stating that you want to be “friends” actually means you want to be FTF. If you get where I’m going with this…

  7. j3….I’m so glad you pointed this out to me!!! duhhh…now some of the emails I’m getting make much more sense…
    I think this whole thing is becoming a lesson in how very naive, old fashioned and out of the trendy-loop-of-things I really am!!! It honestly never occurred to me..and I think you’re right *on* that this is what people read it as and assume I *really* mean….

  8. But Cupid has an option for “intimate encounters”, why would they say friends if they want that? Why not just put that? It’s like saying you want a LTR when you just want sex. It’s deceptive. Is anyone honest anymore? I guess they can want sex all the want or FWB too, it isn’t going to happen with me. That is NOT what I’m looking for. I think I’ve made it very clear that I only want friends on there, now the offers are dwindling down as they realize, I’m very serious.

  9. Wow! It does??? I didn’t see the “intimate encounter” option..but I wasn’t looking for it either as that doesn’t interest me, so I suppose it would be easy for me to disregard… I agree it *is* deceptive when ppl don’t put what they’re really hoping for…but I gather men might get way less “interests” if they’re that brutally honest….? No excuse not to be..but it really is every man for himself, right?
    I’m still a tad flabbergasted that ppl even go online to find that kind of thing…it’s the ideal situation for a single’s bar isn’t it? If I was looking for hook-ups, I think the amount of time and effort an online “get to know you” thing takes would be superfluous and excessive for the 5-30 minutes that an actual intimate encounter in itself typically takes… Am I really going to spend *that* much time into something that’s going to give me such a limited ROI in comparison? hahahah…but no, I’m serious…it really does strike me as truly absurd… Therefore, this situation maked me kinda deduce that said person either can’t afford a few drinks or is so unappealing physically that he can’t even pick up a drunk girl from a bar..umm…..EWW!!
    Ahhh..I guess everyone is different though and it takes all kinds, right?! 😉

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