Followed my blogger friend’s advice (Vendetta ) and finally ventured out of the pond and into Cupid’s area of target.
I create my profile throw a few pictures on there. I didn’t really put much effort into this…perhaps my gusto is dwindling? …but I did it…yayy!
At first, I was worried that it would merely be exactly the same as the pond I was already in since it is free as well and I was pleasantly surprised to find it is a bit different. It seems to do more specific compatibility matching. I browsed around a bit. Found one guy who’s face drew my interest, so I read his profle..and I was pleasantly surprised. Had a little intelligence, far exceeds my height requirement, demonstrated some possible insightfulness, and a bit of a sense of humor too! Hmm…. Nice. I wrote him. I rarely write anyone first, but just had to at least tell this guy I admired his profile. We’ve been writing/texting/chatting ever since and since he works third shift as a nurse, we have planned to meet Thursday afternoon at a popular bookstore for coffee and book browsing. Can’t believe I’m almost excited about this. No seriously, I just about am…until flashes of Zep, M, Lingerer, and Mr. PhD come flooding at me and prohibit my ability to actually get *there*..to actually be enthusiastic. Yeah, it’s clear my optimism has diminished significantly, but HEY, at least I’m still going and trying!
From only a few days, I’ve seen a few differences between the sites. I haven’t documented these of course, but what I’ve noticed as a general trend in my short time
Seems the Cupid pairs me with younger men far more often than the aquarium. Or is there merely a larger crowd of the younger ones over at the cupid? Don’t know, but I’d guesstimate that my “matches are generally in their late 20’s and early 30’s. not sure how I feel about this as in “matches”, but if I find the match attractive, I at least go peek for some reading material. I’ve seen a few quality photos with quality profiles…read all the way to the end and then get my feelings hurt! I’m too “old” for their requirements…OMG… No, not every single one, but geesh…enough that it’s starting to make me feel olllllllllddddd. Like being single with two children, having no friends, and speeding toward 40 isn’t enough to make me feel like I’m ancient already, Mr.Cupid has to have a sick sense of humor to continually “match” me with guys whose age qualifications I exceed. Thank you Mr. Cupid you sick, twisted son-of-a…
This should be against the online dating law, I tell ya. It’s cruelty to we getting-old people and particularly for we getting-too-old-and-irritated-at-dating-in-general-people!! The first few didn’t really bother me so much, I’m like, ahh well…no big deal. Then after a few more, I’m like umm…what the hell is this, then after a few more still, I’m like okay, this is starting to hurt my feelings. Geesh, I’m not THAT old for crying out loud. I firmly believe this should and could be tactfully avoided by the I’m-sure-above-average-intelligence-Cupid-engineers/creators…those sick mean bastards! I mean with all this ‘”matching” they’re doing, how easy is to be eliminated from my matches if I don’t meet the criteria? Should I even be their “match”? I don’t think so. Gosh, I’m just at that age where I’m still young enough to be in denial of my growing older status, but old enough to mostly only want to date appropriately aged men. What am I going to do? Write a bunch of me saying, hey I’m a little older than you are seeking, but dammit I’m still hot?! My age-pride is still enough in tact that I refuse to approach in writing or otherwise any man who prefers a woman even one year younger than I. But I’m old enough to be thinking, dammit, I must be really getting OLD…ughh!
Another interesting point I’ve noticed on both sites is that in general, my “matches” tend to be less attractive. What are those odds and how are they arrived at? Is this perhaps because I focus less on talking about the importance of looks in my profile? Sure, looks are far from most important to me, but gosh they don’t have to throw me all the one’s who look like they’ve been ridden hard and put away wet either! Intelligence and personality are mandatory traits, but personality has got to be difficult to determine via these, doesn’t it? I like that cupid throws in some IQ-like questions in their ongoing “questionnaire” to find “better match”.
My list of criteria: 1, Intelligence/personality (these are closely tied for #1), 2. Sense of Humor, 3. Strong moral character 4. Height (neither site allows this as a mandatory prerequisite for matches though).
It’s promising already that I’ve had a higher number of “tall” responses and interests at Cupid by far. Is cupid the site of taller, but younger (and often seeking even younger) singles? That might be a contradiction for me…
Another question….should I change my “interests” to “everyone” since more than anything I hope to meet friends? I browsed like this for a few minutes yesterday and came across some really strange profiles in the “everyone” category. Can a guy with the screen name “pisscumlover” really become a dear friend to me? Could we cultivate a lovely go-to-lunch-and-have-wine-n-movies-nights friendship together Mr Pisscumlover and I? Gosh, Maybe Mr. Pisscumlover really wants to make friends too? I don’t care what the personal dating interests of my potential friends are. Really, I don’t, but am concerned as to what message I’m sending out f I bravely list that I’m “seeking friends, short-term dates, and/or long-term dates” from the broad category of “everyone”?
Does that scream desperation to you? Or am I just being paranoid again? I mean I am slightly desperate to make friends,but not at all desperate in the dating category. If I clarify that with my written words, will any “freakish” types even read my words? Or is it more likely that they’ll sum me up without reading as dating/sexually desperate/WIDE OPEN to all? And what if Mr. Pisscumlover might potentially be my next BFF? Am I too quick to judge?
Another thought, should I have two sites on there maybe? One for looking just for “friends” from “everyone” and another for “looking for short/long-term dating from just “guys who like girls”? Might that solve this dilemma of categorizing my separate “needs”? …Or to the person who maybe finds me in both pages, do I (again) just appear wide open and desperate to all potential scenarios and possibilities?
I whine, I rant…yes, but the truth is I’ve already crossed paths with more than a few interesting new potentials… So, I’m having a blast with this right now! I just have to tone down or resolve that aspect of cupid encouraging my feeling and fears of getting/being OLD…that’s just ughhh….ughhh…ughhhhh
….and now off to meet Mr. Nurse for coffee….