Category Archives: PDA’s

Dammit Steve…

It occurred to me last night that in my blog mission of sharing my online dating experiences, I’ve neglected to share much of any of my real-life, more traditional, experiences of meeting people since I’ve moved to the city of U-turns and Vanity Plates.  I’m focused if nothing, but I realize my amazing focus leaves out a great deal of interesting experience.  I did share of the near violation of my no-no square, and  hot-as-HELL bartender, and drunken groping surfer dude, but other than that, nothing of this variety.  And ironically, I’ve had almost as many real-life occasions meeting men as online; not anything overly intriguing or exciting as to dating potential, noooo….but certainly interesting experiences in their own right. 

Neighborhood bar

I was blessed (or cursed?) location-wise, to live within walking distance of a fun little restaurant/bar.  It’s not a tacky little dive (although I confess I ADORE tacky little dive bars!!).  It has a nice restaurant I’ve not yet eaten in and above the restaurant is a lovely massive deck with a bar/lounge/club-like atmosphere. It has twinkle lights  scattered all over (ahhh the ambiance), huge fans and misters everywhere for the hottest nights (so cozy n comfortable  ), and a divine view of the Sin City skyline

Ambiance
Romantic

 (geesh so romantic!).  The crowd is a little on the young side, but overall there is a decent mix of crazy college kids through some middle age patrons… all the way to a coupe of old geezer “regulars” (one of whom believes every lady over the age of 30 who comes in the place, is a “cougar-for-Jared”).   Yeah, Jared is an undoubtedly (OMG!) hot bartender, but I’m still undecided on the cougar thing unless of course it’s for my precious Hottie McHotstuff over in Denver.  I do, however, like to be around people, socialize, and have a few drinks close to home occasionally…so I have been to this little “neighborhood place” three or four times since moving here. 

My last visit to the place got very interesting.  Old geezer (cougars-for-Jared guy) was there and Jared was bartending (bonus!).  I sat one of the little high-top tables alone(obviously).  I don’t like this much and can’t wait to make friends in the area, but there I was on this night.  Enter Steve (I’m sure no relation to my big-single-mother-blog-fan “Steve“). 

Steve is a fairly handsome guy around my age who on this evening asks to sit next to me.  I’m sitting alone in the midst of yet another frustrating text-servation with The Lingerer, so I’m more than happy for company, both to get my head away from the desperately annoying texts from Lingerer and to just have some company while sitting there.  He sits.  We commence to have a great discussion about various topics like careers, moving to Vegas, relationships, kids, education, politics, etc, etc…   It’s nice. I’m almost digging this guy.  Seriously. I. Am. Right. There. Hovering on the maybe this guy’s pretty cool ledge.  He’s attractive and can hold an interesting and intelligent conversation…  I’m definitely in for further investigation here.  I even moved tables with Steve at his suggestion that we move somewhere on the deck with 

is this better?

an unobstructed and more “romantic” view of the city. He bought me three (which is one too many for me!) drinks while we chatted.  Nice guy Steve.  As I’m slowly drinking my third glass of wine, Steve asks me if I’d like to go to the Rush concert with him Saturday night.  I’m a huge fan of 70’s music and this is a fabulous offer!  In fact, I’d heard of the concert on the radio just that very day and had wished I could go see them…  Wondering, how did this gift fall right in my lap?  I agreed and we exchanged numbers.  Then Steve offers to walk me to my car.  I had a bad experience with that just the last time I was at this place, so I’m hesitant.  It’s a catch-22 though because I do like having someone walk me to my car and especially here, as the deck (and thus, the majority of the people) is up so high, the parking lot is rather isolated from anyone’s view. 

Okay, this isn’t like the last time though.  I’ve actually been talking with this guy for several hours and we’ve even exchanged numbers.  Totally different scenario from Mr. Attempted Violation.  So, I gratefully accept his respectful, chivalrous offer. 

Once we get to my car, Steve goes in for a kiss.  

Okay…nice…

 I’m an admitted kissing tramp, so this doesn’t really upset of offend me whatsoever under these circumstances.  I’m in for a smooch or two…OH! Yeah!  And BONUS…he’s not at all a bad kisser!  He’s actually pretty good… 

I go to get in my car and he goes for another kiss…  Umm…okay…two is still acceptable.  I’m still in for that…  Yeah! I turn to get in my car a second time and he pulls me by my waist back toward him, turning me to snatch another kiss.  Yeah so, at this point I’m losing some of my kissing-a-stranger-gusto and am a tad more reluctant, but alright, I suppose one more is okay… but then I’m done with this for tonight pal, okay?  No, I didn’t SAY that out loud or anything, but I felt confident that my kiss itself demonstrated much less enthusiasm, as well as a definite …sigh… okay, but hurry up and get this over with feel to it. 

GOSH!  I’m definitely a very touch-feely kinda person.  Very!  But if I even think or sense for a split second that I even remotely detect any reluctance for me to touch, fondle, kiss, or otherwise demonstrate physical affection another person, I am OUT immediately.  I cease instantly.  I shudder at the mere notion of anyone ever “suffering through” my touch or kiss. 

Do ALL men need a copy?!

 Umm…  Do men NOT have ANY sensory perception AT ALL?  Does their entire sense of awareness come merely from within themselves, with ZERO comprehension of the body language of others?  Because while I was thinking, Okay, I don’t want to be rude and out and out reject you…so get this one over with and I’ll just see you later…  Steve, on the other hand, must have thought kiss number three was a big, blaring, flashing,  GREEN light; screaming “GO STEVE! GOOOO STEVE! IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY!” 

On kiss number three, in spite of my reluctance to even 

a fair likeness of what I was hiding my “smokin hot bod” under…

 participate, Steve goes in for the grope/feel!  He slides his hands around my waist, under my top (!), and says, “Wow (Kay)! You’re hiding a hot little body under that big maternity shirt…  You’re smoking under there!” 

yup...that's me Steve...

Uhhh yeah..I’m smokin’…smokin’ PISSED OFF is what I am pal….so get. Your. Hands. Off. My. Skin.  Now!   A few kisses does NOT mean it’s okay or you’re otherwise invited to GROPE a woman… Seriously…Why Steve...?  WHY?? 

I drove home rather irritated at Steve because I had really wanted to go to that concert. Subsequently, I did not take Steve’s call on Saturday morning and haven’t even yet bothered to listen to the message he left either.  

 Dammit Steve!

Nude blogging and other confessions

I'm a (tastefully) nude blogger

After the date debacle that was Friday’s experience.  I was wholly unprepared to hear Saturday suddenly from Mr M.  Mr. M and I have emailed for a while and recently exchanged cell numbers, but I hadn’t heard from him in a few days.  Yesterday, he texts.  First, he says hi and introduces himself.  Second, he asks if I have any pictures to send from my phone.  What???  I almost start laughing.  Before I can respond to this, he sends through the picture; the bathroom shot.  And suddenly, the clouds In my antiquated brain functioning part and like an epiphany, I finally get it!  Maybe these guys asking for “another photo” to be sent from my phone are truly just looking for that picturethe picture

Am I the only person on earth who does not have that bathroom self portrait on my phone primed and ready to send?  …The only person in existence online who doesn’t keep that popular photo hovering out there in technology land just waiting around to be hurled through time and space from cell phone to cell phone?  My daughters have a literal ton of these photos and I see them everywhere on their friends’ Facebook and Myspace profiles.  The truth is, because of this, I just feel I’m over the age limit to indulge in such a thing.  In addition, I just feel completely ridiculous taking one like that.  I don’t know why.   I don’t think it’s terribly odd to see this photo of other adults.  I just feel awkward posing in front of my bathroom mirror, cell phone in hand, making sure any kind of “incriminatingly” embarrassing bathroom product is taken off my vanity, saying to myself, “Say CHEESE”, and snapping away.  I really can’t explain just why that feels so strange to me.  There’s nothing wrong with it, right?

I also can’t seem to shake that overwhelming curiosity as to why this is a seemingly common request/requirement.  Is it nervousness at wondering if they’ve seen a true representation of what I look like?  Is this popular photo now the considered the missing link of online dating?  That one photo which ties it all together, clears up all ambiguity, and provides the irrefutable proof of what you really look like?

Well a couple of things here:  1. I’m not taking one at all.  I’m just not going to for the reasons I’ve explained above. And 2:  Not gonna do it because everyone else already has.  Also, at this exact moment, I was sitting in the nude, writing in my blog…(yes nude. .. I like to be naked when I’m home alone.  You’ve just no idea the joy I get from not having my clothes on) and call me unreasonable,   call me whatever, I will not get dressed at this very moment, hindering my current nude-enjoyment, just to take the picture.    Unreasonable bitch?  Why yes, I suppose I am!

However, I compromise (again) and add him to my FB, where I’ve plenty of photos to help decipher the missing link of online dating.  His curiosity seems satisfied with this compromise and he asks me for a meet-n-greet for coffee.

From having been up till 3 AM Friday night, just the night before…obviously not due to the fun I had on my date…  I was hesitant to agree.  Also, I confess, the practically instantaneous rejection from PhD midget man …umm…less than honest guy…my self- confidence has been rattled a little bit.  After some thought and back-n forth indecision, I agree to meet him in an hour.

I’m glad I did too.  He appears to be completely normal, looks like his picture, and can maintain an intelligent conversation.  He’s about ten years older than I, but I knew this and it really doesn’t seem to make a difference to me.  For some reason with this guy, the age gap doesn’t seem like a canyon either, but more along the lines of an appropriate and manageable age difference with respectful consideration to the maturity gap between the sexes.  We seem to be right on the same page!

Two glasses of iced-tea later, some regularly-paced and interesting conversation, and I have to go.   Perfect.  Short and sweet.  He offers to walk me to my car.  I like this.  I really do appreciate and enjoy the little basics of “old-fashioned” chivalry and consideration of my femininity .  For me, this is not only appropriate; it’s that little tiny extra that I very much enjoy about being a woman.

Another bonus for Mr. M., is that as he’s walking me to the door, through the people, he does my favorite date-thing ever….my most absolute favorite actually… he places his hand ever so lightly on my (upper)lower back as we walk.  To me, this gesture is the perfect balance of affection without crudeness and “ together”-ness without possession.  In fact, I can say with absolute honesty, that the love of my life guy did this regularly and it was one of the tiny things that made me adore him (and ultimately choose him) over the rest of my romantic interests at that time in my life.  It’s that little gesture that demonstrates and respects that I’m a female, yes, over and above it all, I am just a girl, without even a tiny sensation of that clingy, pushy feeling of “MINE!, MINE!  LOOK EVERYONE!  MINE!”

Ahhhhh   lovely……  I’m excited to see Mr. M again:) …and he claims he is interested in a second date (a real date..not a brief meet-n-greet) as well.  And in spite of the insecurities Mr. PhD inspired, I actually believe him.

DAD….Stop that!

 

If I date older and younger men, does that make me a cougar kitten?

Went (spontaneously too, I might add…haha Mr. SOB!) on my first date with the only older  (20 years older…WOW!) man I’ve seen on the site so far that interested me…

His emails were great!  Well spoken, probably far more active athletically than I even, intelligent, and seemingly very stable.  He was looking pretty  handsome in his pictures too.  So I went to meet him at a great little place in town called the Blue Martini.

Loved the Blue Martini….terrific little 2nd story bar/restaurant, where we sat on the balcony during sunset (nice!! ), sipped the most delicious martinis, ate lobster tacos and seared Ahi tuna, and chatted up a storm!  What a great guy!!  He’s as Irish as the day is long and Lord loves an Irishman…enjoys many of the same passions as I (theatre, sociology, reading), has impeccable manners, and still respects a  woman’s strength!  Ahhhhh…perfection!

Hmmm…..or not?  I have to admit, he looked just a little older in person than in his pictures….  Not much…not older as in, Umm…Were those pictures taken during the Great Depression?, but definitely a bit older for sure.  This didn’t bother me so much really, as he was so delightfully interesting and well-mannered,  and still attractive in that older-man kinda way…  Didn’t bother me at all…

Until the kissing.  I did not mind (much) that he took my hand almost instantly upon our meeting and seemed bound and intent upon keeping it.  That wasn’t too bad.  I’m an affectionately expressive kind of girl… I even  still like holding hands with my dad too.   My dad doesn’t usually try to hold my hand through dinner though, but that’s okay…

Towards the end of our time together, he said he couldn’t wait to take his online profile “off the market”, asked could I, would I be his girl, and then he tossed in a few smooches.  Hmm…..

I can’t pretend that a handsome guy who chooses to kiss me in public is undesirable.  I don’t mean a tongue down my throat, I’m going to throw you down right here and now on the table kiss, no….(although, YES, there is a time and occasion when that’s appropriate publicly  freakin’ HOT too but this wasn’t one of those)  but a nice smooch which demonstrates some affection, respect, and physical interest is terrific.  Call me a PDA girl if you want, but I like those!

Only I didn’t really like it this time.   I didn’t hate it…I just didn’t like it in the way I want to like it when a man kisses me in the beginning.  I love that kiss a man gives you which is brief, but sweet, and clearly shows attraction….the kiss that leaves you imagining and anticipating the next level of kissing – the one that makes your heart flutter, you knees weak, and prompts fantastic visions of him needing (not wanting) desperately to throw you down right there and have his way with you that very instant…

I didn’t feel this though or even sense the possibility of feeling that anticipation in any next kisses from him either.   No… Instead, I felt a little like I do when I kiss my dad:   Awww…you’re the sweetest, most lovely man on earth…and there’s a leeee-tle smoochy-smooch for ya to show you just how much I mean that!

Also, and I really hate confessing this…  I did not appreciate the way people glanced at us…especially the side-glances after the few little smooches he tossed on me.  It was as though people near us were subtly watching and wondering.  … And then he kissed me and the kiss lingered just a few moments beyond what would be appropriate for kisses from my dad.  I would swear suddenly those wondering glances turned into “AHA….it IS one of those creepy May/December romances going on over there…”

Second shameful confession:  When a hot early-30’s-late-20’s-something guy casually glanced our way, I was tempted to  jump quickly back from his kiss and say loudly, “DAD!!….YUK!….What are you doing?!”

Yeah… I really did think that….(looking down at the floor here in shame) so, maybe a May/December romance really isn’t quite my thing after all! 

It’s a real shame though…I do wish he was about 10 years younger…