Category Archives: more pics please…

M…& M’s are fun!

M got a few bonus points!

I’m so glad I didn’t allow my over-active imagination and the over analytical social worker in me to cancel…

M was fantastic! 

Crazy to think that I had a zillion little possible red flags waving in my mind and yet the whole thing not only went off without a hitch, but I actually enjoyed him..  We had terrific conversations about everything from online dating experiences through Harley Davidson motorcycles all the way to kids and parenting.  It was great!

Once I was in my swimsuit and in his beautiful (way better than mine!) pool, I teased him mercilessly about the “more pics” thing.  he said, Wow..that really bothered you.  Umm yeah…hehe…honey, you’ve NO clue just how much…  No, I didn’t actually say that…gosh!!  And after much discussion, I really and truly feel confident that he was merely very interested in seeing me in a swimsuit and that was that.  It just wasn’t as creepy as I tried to make it and I suppose this highlights vividly the mass difference between the way a man thinks and the way a woman thinks.  I’m okay with it now that I know it was just a typical guy-thing.  I still don’t comprehend that as an initial response to a desire to see someone in a swimsuit, as I still would have taken the more direct approach, but it is what it is…  he is a man after all and I’m not trying to date women or even any man who’s too much like a woman, right?

So… great conversation, he’s an effective listener as well as a generous talker.  He was very relaxed and made me feel totally at ease almost immediately (NOT an easy task with my level of anxiety at going to a strange man’s house in a strange city!)  We had a few drinks, chatted, and then went swimming.  We raced across the length of the pool a few times…he beat me twice by a nose…ughh.  And after minimal coaxing, I even contrived to get him to “kangaroo” race me too…a very ridiculous little game my daughters and I play in our pool-what a great sport!  He was very laid back, not at all pretentious (thank GAWD!), seems to be a good balance in age (i.e.:  old enough for me to take seriously, but young enough not to feel like my dad!), demonstrated interest with zero sense of desperation, and was a fabulous kisser!  Yayyy M!!  Yeah, we made out in the pool…..and in the hot tub…..and in the kitchen….and for a minute on the sofa…..and…..umm….FUN…!!

Seriously pal...don't do it...

He leaves for Paris today on business and I’m jeal-el-el-ous!  Before I left, I asked him to bring me something creatively cool back from Paris…not one of those cheesy Eiffel tower key chains or anything…hehe:-)  It will be interesting to see if he does this and what it will be…

Yeah, I liked him.

UN-freakin-believable!!!

This has several levels of unbelievable irony and coincidence and so I simply must write of it…

I have a guy “friend” whom is fondly referred to in my house as Hottie McHotstuff.  He’s a very sexually appealing 24 year old guy (boy?), with whom I had a night (umm…or two…?) of wild abandon this past winter.  He’s way too young for me and our connection was truly a matter of several simultaneously serendipitous events.  This is not a common theme or occurrence for me…  so this guy, this experience,  in itself is special in its own right.

how I feel around McH...

McHotstuff is friends with a girlfriend of mine.  We all were out dancing and drinking together one memorable evening awhile back.  I’m not going to pretend I hadn’t noticed him at all.  In fact, I couldn’t help but to notice him and in the beginning of the evening prior to drinking like fish and group-dancing like sexually charged beasts, we had a delightful conversation.  I enjoyed this, but immediately classified it off as just a nice conversation with an intelligent, sweet, and too-young guy.

So imagine my surprise a few hours later when our mutual friend pulls me aside and says, “J is sooooo in to you girl.”  What?  Are you kiddin’ me?  That hot young boy?  …Is way into late 30-ish, chronically-broken-hearted-ME?  Whoaa…   I laughed this off, took it as quite a compliment, and continued on as it was…having a great time with a fun group of friends.  She takes me aside again and says, Kay, I know sexual flings aren’t your thing, but I’m telling you, you really should try it with J.  I’ve never had sex with him, but another friend of mine did awhile back and she raved for months about how unbelievably effin’ fantastic he is.

Yeah, not usually my thing, but I’ll tell you, I’ve been suffering (literally) from a broken heart for years(yes, years) and with this blatant encouragement combined with my ongoing level of pain and suffering for so long, I opted to act on this. I won’t get into the crude details here, but suffice to say…ummm..yup….OMFG…was worth every bit of it!  And I’ve no regrets, then or now…  In fact, McH and I got together again on a less drunken evening merely because I wanted to experience this guy with a totally clear head!  This was very liberating to me sexually and emotionally…..I’m indebted to McH for reasons he’ll never even know!

McH and I did not become BFF’s or anything, but over the past 8 months or so, we have developed a great friendship…one that I really believe is a rare friendship with extreme sexual attraction thing.  Something I did not believe could exist prior to this.  I have genuinely fond and caring feelings for the guy, as well as a crazy sexual desire for him.  And he feels the same.  It’s truly a lovely phenomenon!

Coincidence:  After living his entire life in this small-Michigan town we lived in and me having lived there for 13 years, 3 days before I moved to Nevada, McH moved out west as well.  So he just happens to be my geographically closest “friend” from back home, although he is still 10-12 hours’ drive from me.   We text and talk fairly regularly.  He’s planning to visit Vegas at some point fairly soon.  Needless to say, I’m very much looking forward to that;-P

Here is the irony:  We have been having a text conversation over the past few days regarding my ex (a dear friend ever since our divorce 13 years ago) being a real jerk since the moment I arrived here. Excerpt as follows:

Me:  I soooo wish you were here right now! (this I texted to him the night after the near violation of my no-no square…yeah, I was super-duper scared and lonely)

Me (the next day…kind of embarrassed at how that late-night text probably came across): Sucks sometimes not really knowing any1 here…wish u were a lil closer at least…hope ur doing great tho…xoxo

McH: I wish I was too..ya’ll should’ve came to Denver it’s truly amazing

Me: I’m so glad u like it! Vegas is pretty great too..just wish I knew some1 here tho…but I’m meeting ppl just takes time I suppose…

Mc H:Doesn’t ur husband live out there or x husband?

Me: Yup he lives here..n we’ve been best friends since the divorce but now that he has the kids n me out here hes bein a major ass 2me…I shoulda known better!

McH(texted this morning):  Dude that sucks I wish I could help

Me:  No worries I’m dealing w/it..it’s just kinda sad n makes me xtra miss havin my friends around 2have fun w/…ur such a gem J… thank u tho:-):-)

McH: Well, you’re one of the greatest ppl I know.  I’m not gonna lie

Me(touched beyond reason here):   J..ur so lucky ur so far or id jump u right now just 4sayin that 2meJ  other than my ex n some pervs leering @me like they wanna eat me alive its been awhile since any1 said anything kind 2me…I just adore u..im so lucky ur my friend n ur only 10 hours away!!  :-)xoxo:-)

McH: yeah, I’m gonna come 2 Vegas once I get the cash. And u also r a great friend 2have.

AND *RIGHT HERE* IS WHEN THE UNBELIEVABLE HAPPENS:

McH: Do you have a camera phone?

OMFG!!!!    I have been intimate with McH, so this does not bother me at ALL in that way.  He’s not at all out of line and I’d share any picture I might ever have of myself with this gem of a guy…  But with consideration of my past few weeks ranting about “more cell pics” and my impending date tonight with “more-cell-pics-M”…. 

ARE YOU KIDDIN’ ME?? What the hell?  What are the odds of this crazy-ass timed request?  Is this a seemingly random and unexpected thing being thrown at me to put a brand new perspective on my current dilemma/debate regarding my upcoming date with M????

I guess this is irrefutable proof that *any* guy in the world does, in fact, just want more cell phone pics…maybe I’m being a little harsh on M?

Should I perhaps….?

Hmmm…in fact, after contemplating this further, I’m tempted to just go ahead and change my single’s online profile to say simply:

3 yr old bikini pic...w/ex bf cropped out

Me as a referee

How I look holding a Corona in Mexico

My ass - circa 2010 (and what you'll be kissing if ur a jerk)

just in case ur @ all interested n seeing how i look n clothes circa 2010

How I look when the straw from my drink has mysteriously attached itself to my left boob-circa 2010

What I look like next to Audrey Hepburn, dressed as Alice

 

Very real, not virtual. Always late..ALWAYS(except when I’m not)…randomly forgets how  to walk well…but really does know how to walk almost all of the time

**No longer combines the meds with alcohol…**

As you will see here, I have posted various *recent* pics of myself in a plethora of  flattering and unflattering poses/situations/manners of dress…please take note of this and commit them to memory because I will NOT, under any circumstances, grace your “phone” with self portraits, not in the bathroom, not in a swimsuit..not in a box..not with a fox…not in my house (nor yours)…not with a mouse…and certainly not if you’re a louse….

…and I don’t want to see yours either…until I want to see…ummm…yours…and then we’ll share and explore that reality all on our own, however we see fit…”

Wonder if anyone would respond to this type of brazen disclaimer and photo gallery?

Nahhh..they’d need to see more pics…geesh…cell cam pics:-)~

M is for more, more, MORE pictures please

So after my brief, but lovely, meeting with M, I did text a “thank you for meeting me…had fun”.  To which M responds with you’re welcome.  Definitely must get together again. Be good.

Be good?  What exactly does that even mean?  My first thought is I said something rather incriminating of my naughty side even during our brief (drug and alcohol free too!  Go ME!!) meeting…?

Nope… nothing that I can recall.  My second thought was that he was keenly aware of our age difference (more so than I?) and is treating me in more of a “fatherly” manner…

So yesterday, I text “how was your weekend?” And he responds with:  It was good how about urs?  Want to send me a current swimsuit pic or is that wrong?

Okay…..now, WHAT is this?  I’m trying to figure this out…  Does he question how I look in a swimsuit?  Does he not at all question that and merely just wants to see me in one?

All sorts of things start flying through my brain at this one!  I realize he’s just a guy and probably most guys are interested in seeing a swimsuit picture, right?  No harm- no foul in that really…..just typical guys-are-visual stuff.  Don’t get me wrong, I have no qualms whatsoever about how I look in a bikini.  I just can’t understand asking for this picture??!!!!  If I really want to see someone in their swimsuit, my first thought wouldn’t be “send me a pic”….it would be, “Hey, wanna go swimming?”  It’s just that simple.  I wanna get a good idea of what your body looks like naked or whatever – I’m going to try to put us in a situation where I can see that for myself.  It would never even occur to me to ask for a photo of such!  Gosh, I’m really out of the online dating loop…huh?  I’m still sadly stuck in the actuality of things, not the pictures of them.  In spite of the wonders of modern technology, I still just find them far more interesting and real for some strange reason? I’ve already accepted that texting is now preferrable to an actual conversation..and I’m not totally not-on-board with that myself…so I’m just not sure what my problem is with this…

Has the ease of technology made pictures worth more than an actual real-life viewing?

Well, I contemplate all of these things prior to responding.  I’ve no desire to “tsk-tsk” him into feeling badly for asking.  I’m realizing that I’m just a prude who hates self-portraits-with-cell-phone-cams, a bitch who just refuses to jump on the cool-technology-bandwagon and hurl images of me throughout technology land to any one interested in seeing…  This is clearly my issue…not his…I’m getting that.  Given this understanding, I feel the need to word my response carefully, in a manner that explains “me” a little and my total confounded-curiosity of this cell phone picture phenomena, yet doesn’t make him feel badly for asking for a (basically) totally appropriate image of my body.  Finally, I respond with:

Its not wrong really, no…ru kinda worried about what I look like in a swimsuit? Or just wanna see me in one? Neither is wrong…but either way, the best way to find out is to invite me swimming…that’s as current as u could get;-P  (And then):  I’m just uncomfortable taking pics of myself with my cell phone..dunno why…I just am…

Without getting into the boring verbatim-text here, suffice to say, he totally understands and acknowledges that self pics “aren’t fun”. And eventually gets to asking me when I’m free to swim…

So this all turns out just fine…but I’m still confounded about the overwhelming desire for MORE cell phone pics which is running rampant across society today..  and I just have so many questions!!!

One burning question in my mind (and I know this might be just totally silly) is the contradiction between the fatherly-like “voice” in the Be Good text versus the request for a swimsuit pic.  Ummmm yeah, I’m WAY over-analyzing here.  Yup.

And the other question afire in my mind is still why the first thought in regards to quenching the curiosity of men here is to request a pic of something… NOT to first make an attempt to see it for themselves…?

Do these answers even really matter?  I’m beginning to think not…but I’m a questioning, curious chick diving into a totally new game and forum here….  And there are going to be questions…lots of them…