Popeye made me do it

Immediate disclaimer:  …and with this post, I brace myself for the tsk tsk (Whoaaa..K, you sure are one DENSE and DEAF(blind) chick, huh??!?) that’s probably coming my way via my toe-nail polish, dating, math, and man-speak guru/hero,  Dennis 🙂

The rules *are* made to be broken…right?

 Eeek….  Okay, well I  have never claimed I’m good at the “game” and I’m sure it’s probably fairly clear that I just don’t know how to play games anyway…nor have any desire to do so.  It is what it is.  I am what I am…

Yeah, Popeye inspires me 😉

I don’t know if this aspect of my characterwill just make me seem “way out there” to the majority of daters?  Refreshingly (or annoyingly?) honest? Lacking in intrigue? 

I’d have to say D.  ALL of the above…  BUT, I won’t sit in indecision, pondering the “what if’s”!   …it’s either worth my time and consideration or it isn’t.

So, I opted to throw some straight up, I’m-not-sure-what-this-is-about right at M.  And I commenced to knowingly break the rules – probably of both dating themselves and texting-n-dating too….

Me:  get the feeling maybe ur just not that into me really…?  I’m no dating expert 4sure…its all new 2me n I’m not so good @ games n such! Anyway, for what it’s worth…I do like you “M” and I hope u have a great weekend!

M:  <K> I do like u.  ur sweet. I’m sorry. Tough week. I’ll txt u later 🙂

I don’t think I regret texting M like that.  However, I confess this dating business leaves me constantly torn between straight-up direct honesty and at least trying to play the game a little…  I just refuse to sit around contemplating about something that may not even be worth a second thought.  I figure if he’s even worth any worry or consideration at all, then texting something like that can’t be so terribly “wrong”… 

And if he isn’t, what in the hell do I care what he thinks of me anyway?   Win-win here….and besides, I like to feel like a rule-breaking-rebel sometimes!!

I DO like him and I detest sweating the small stuff, sitting in the dark for very long, and coming to my own conclusion….  Add that together…and BAM! you get straight up here’s where I am and what I’m thinking texts hurled directly at you…

I think M handled it well.  As for the big picture?  Umm…only time will tell for sure…

10 responses to “Popeye made me do it

  1. Haha, of course, now I feel obligated to respond…. 😉

    I’m not about playing the game, K. So I see nothing wrong with what you did. In fact, I’m big on communication (hence, the mission of my blog), and I commend you for having the gumption to be upfront with M.

    At the same time… his response doesn’t exactly reveal anything earth shattering. I’m still not entirely convinced of his true feelings for you, but I do wish you the best of luck on this. Honest. 🙂

  2. I was thinking about this kind of thing recently – breaking some “rules” (like sounding too keen) is less likely to do harm if the person is keen on you too, so maybe it can be a win-win!

    I like the candor of your text. I much prefer being honest and upfront too – and maybe if more daters can operate in this way, the rules can start to change! (Maybe I’m being a bit idealistic here)

  3. I like the honesty of your text…. I too struggle between just being upfront and playing the game. Wish things were a bit simpler in this all-too-complicated dating world….

  4. I say SCREW the game! You go girl! And what Matt said, I whole heartedly agree! If the person is as into you as you are them, the rules don’t apply anymore. I didn’t play by the rules with Mr. NY and in 3 weeks he was in love with me. Ya, he still left, but as we all know, he’s regretting it, and who’s to say what he’ll do when he gets back in the country in 2 weeks. I have never liked playing games, or by the rules, it doesn’t suit my personality and I can’t see it suiting yours either. I say be honest, be frank, be Popeye if you want! Sing it sister! And if he doesn’t like it, he’s not the right guy for you. Any guy worth his salt will like you for YOU, outspoken, rule breaker and all!

  5. Thanks for such positive feedback on this!! I wasn’t looking 4 (OR hoping 4!) a declaration of his undying love….just an idea as 2 whether I should even bother at all:) And I think he’s warranted that at least…hafta see where it goes from here I guess… He did ask me out for 2nite…but I can’t…so… I think all in all it’s just fine. He’s older and has only been divorced a year i think…so it could be that neither one of us really knows what we’re doing…hehe..and that might be a good thing…

  6. I think that you put it out there, now you can pull back a little (just a little!) and see if he really comes to you, or if he was all talk.

    The game sucks, but hate the game, not the playa’ right?

  7. You’re right-on Intrigue! I text it n left it…hehe…do I sound like an infomercial or what?! He not only texted me all evening last night, but in that, he reaffirmed several times that he likes me, shared a bit more “personal info” into his situation, personality, and the truly hellish week he had, and invited me out for the eve…when I declined, he then asked to see me whenever I’m next free. I don’t expect him to be chasing me non-stop to the altar here…or even want that…had that “instant” thing with the Lingerer and I ran for the hills by date #2! So, he may not be madly in love w/me (nor should he be! ummm creepy…), but I do really think he meant *exactly* what he said initially; that he “should have let me know sooner that he really was having a rough week and just wasn’t up to it.” Yeah, he should have 4sure!! That could even be a case of a little karma coming at me too..I’m guilty of doing the very same thing on occasion as well..so I can hardly hold one inconsiderate infraction against him..that would make me by far a HUGE hypocrite 😉

  8. Hey, that’s awesome. I’m glad to be proven wrong! 🙂

  9. Dennis..I’m not totally sure you were *wrong* in general…I, too, get the feeling overall that while M might really be interested in me, he’s hardly jumping up-n-down about me either. I think he’s playing it cool and safe here and that could mean lower degree of interest and/or that he’s gun-shy after 21 years (OMG!!?) of marriage… Who knows for sure yet? I only know that if he were too much more “eager” in this, I’d be running away…AND probably posting something about “M is for Masochistically annoying” too… 😉

    • I’m not totally sure you were *wrong* in general…

      I know. 😉 I’m just trying to be supportive here, instead of being a big-ole grump and trampling on your love parade.

      I guess, as long as you approach this with a sense of caution, that’s the best you can do…. 🙂

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