After the date debacle that was Friday’s experience. I was wholly unprepared to hear Saturday suddenly from Mr M. Mr. M and I have emailed for a while and recently exchanged cell numbers, but I hadn’t heard from him in a few days. Yesterday, he texts. First, he says hi and introduces himself. Second, he asks if I have any pictures to send from my phone. What??? I almost start laughing. Before I can respond to this, he sends through the picture; the bathroom shot. And suddenly, the clouds In my antiquated brain functioning part and like an epiphany, I finally get it! Maybe these guys asking for “another photo” to be sent from my phone are truly just looking for that picture…the picture.
Am I the only person on earth who does not have that bathroom self portrait on my phone primed and ready to send? …The only person in existence online who doesn’t keep that popular photo hovering out there in technology land just waiting around to be hurled through time and space from cell phone to cell phone? My daughters have a literal ton of these photos and I see them everywhere on their friends’ Facebook and Myspace profiles. The truth is, because of this, I just feel I’m over the age limit to indulge in such a thing. In addition, I just feel completely ridiculous taking one like that. I don’t know why. I don’t think it’s terribly odd to see this photo of other adults. I just feel awkward posing in front of my bathroom mirror, cell phone in hand, making sure any kind of “incriminatingly” embarrassing bathroom product is taken off my vanity, saying to myself, “Say CHEESE”, and snapping away. I really can’t explain just why that feels so strange to me. There’s nothing wrong with it, right?
I also can’t seem to shake that overwhelming curiosity as to why this is a seemingly common request/requirement. Is it nervousness at wondering if they’ve seen a true representation of what I look like? Is this popular photo now the considered the missing link of online dating? That one photo which ties it all together, clears up all ambiguity, and provides the irrefutable proof of what you really look like?
Well a couple of things here: 1. I’m not taking one at all. I’m just not going to for the reasons I’ve explained above. And 2: Not gonna do it because everyone else already has. Also, at this exact moment, I was sitting in the nude, writing in my blog…(yes nude. .. I like to be naked when I’m home alone. You’ve just no idea the joy I get from not having my clothes on) and call me unreasonable, call me whatever, I will not get dressed at this very moment, hindering my current nude-enjoyment, just to take the picture. Unreasonable bitch? Why yes, I suppose I am!
However, I compromise (again) and add him to my FB, where I’ve plenty of photos to help decipher the missing link of online dating. His curiosity seems satisfied with this compromise and he asks me for a meet-n-greet for coffee.
From having been up till 3 AM Friday night, just the night before…obviously not due to the fun I had on my date… I was hesitant to agree. Also, I confess, the practically instantaneous rejection from PhD midget man …umm…less than honest guy…my self- confidence has been rattled a little bit. After some thought and back-n forth indecision, I agree to meet him in an hour.
I’m glad I did too. He appears to be completely normal, looks like his picture, and can maintain an intelligent conversation. He’s about ten years older than I, but I knew this and it really doesn’t seem to make a difference to me. For some reason with this guy, the age gap doesn’t seem like a canyon either, but more along the lines of an appropriate and manageable age difference with respectful consideration to the maturity gap between the sexes. We seem to be right on the same page!
Two glasses of iced-tea later, some regularly-paced and interesting conversation, and I have to go. Perfect. Short and sweet. He offers to walk me to my car. I like this. I really do appreciate and enjoy the little basics of “old-fashioned” chivalry and consideration of my femininity . For me, this is not only appropriate; it’s that little tiny extra that I very much enjoy about being a woman.
Another bonus for Mr. M., is that as he’s walking me to the door, through the people, he does my favorite date-thing ever….my most absolute favorite actually… he places his hand ever so lightly on my (upper)lower back as we walk. To me, this gesture is the perfect balance of affection without crudeness and “ together”-ness without possession. In fact, I can say with absolute honesty, that the love of my life guy did this regularly and it was one of the tiny things that made me adore him (and ultimately choose him) over the rest of my romantic interests at that time in my life. It’s that little gesture that demonstrates and respects that I’m a female, yes, over and above it all, I am just a girl, without even a tiny sensation of that clingy, pushy feeling of “MINE!, MINE! LOOK EVERYONE! MINE!”
Ahhhhh lovely…… I’m excited to see Mr. M again:) …and he claims he is interested in a second date (a real date..not a brief meet-n-greet) as well. And in spite of the insecurities Mr. PhD inspired, I actually believe him.